Premarital Counseling is very effective in helping you protect your marriage from becoming another divorce statistic. Understanding the specific behaviors (see below) that make your relationship vulnerable to divorce is an effective way to protect your marriage. According to Dr. John Gottman, "The Four Horsemen" enable him to predict with 85% accuracy whether or not a couple will divorce:
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Criticizing or blaming your partner (using words like always, never, anything, nothing when complaining or blaming)
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Being defensive (defending your innocence by whining, “yes…but”, counter-complaining or attacking your partner)
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Expressing contempt (implying that you are superior to your partner through sarcasm, name calling, insults, mockery, being smug or rolling your eyes in disgust). The single most powerful predictor of divorce!
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Stonewalling (emotionally “checking out of a discussion” and failing to give any indication that you are interested in your partner’s perspective or even listening to them)
Couples in premarital counseling that learn skills to effectively communicate and manage their differences in a calm manner are more likely to have fulfilling relationships over time.
Premarital counseling session format: Premarital counseling sessions follow the same format as couples counseling (see couples counseling link) although engaged couples will require fewer counseling sessions following the assessment period. After your assessment feedback session, premarital counseling sessions typically focus on:
- Strengthening weakness areas in your relationship
- Building your friendship and increasing respect between the two of you.
- Identifying harmful behaviors in your relationship
- Learning how to communicate about conflict in a meaningful way.
Email jennifer@drjlc.com or call (206)-686-0332 to schedule an appointment today.